An Introvert's Guide to making an Awesome First Impression

This week, I was working on a new assignment, and I found myself in a position where I had to meet many new people, and quickly make a good impression with them so that we can work together peacefully and efficiently. As an introvert, leaving a good impression would have been a little difficult in the past, but I have outlived that fear many years ago.

Here’s how.

Extroverts seem to be able to do it all, don't they? My husband can walk up to any stranger and strike up a conversation. I can barely muster up the courage to ask for directions. He longs to go out and meet new people and make new friends. I prefer to stay home where I am safe and nicely tucked way from the world.

 Maybe I can blame my parents for my ‘introvertedness’. Growing up, our apartment was always quiet. You could hear the movements of my mother cooking, or my father flipping the pages of  a newspaper. Except for the few hours when the TV was on, the house was quiet. Those days, television was not on all day, and there were only 5 channels. Our choice of programs was limited.

 My father was an architecture who ran his own practice. Most days, my dad, his draftsmen, and the secretary were the only people in the office. He spent most of his time at his desk, designing and drawing buildings. Not a lot of talking was required.

My mother was a stay-at-home mom. Most of her interactions were around her grocery shopping adventures, ‘How much is that fish’ or ‘Is the broccoli in season’ type of conversation.

 That’s how I grew up. Not much of a talker.

 My introvertedness took a deep dive when my family moved to Vancouver. Not knowing a word of English, I became even more kept to myself. I barely spoke a word at all. Luckily I found a few friends who also spoke my language, then at least I was not totally lonely.

 How did I turn from that mousy, shy, introverted little girl to who I am today?

 Are we born Introverts? Or did we become Introverts?

 We live in a connected society. We have parents, siblings, friends, school mates, co-workers and neighbors. Whether you like them or not, there are constantly strangers around you.

 Your introvertedness may be environmental. My parents were both introverts, so I was brought up expected to be one. So I became one.

However, I do occasionally find myself exceptionally ‘extrovert-like’; speaking freely, lavishly waving my arms, openly expressing myself, over a subject that I am passionate about and confident that my opinions matter. My body language changes. My tone changes. I get this rare glare in my eyes. For a moment, I become a different person.

 Your introvertedness could also be a result of peer pressure. Some have happy memories from school, other students may not have been so lucky. There are a thousand ways teenagers could feel they don't belong in a school environment and learn to keep to themselves.

The thing is, our emotions are almost always based on a story that we’re telling ourselves.

 We tend to doubt ourselves, tell ourselves that we simply can’t be, can’t do.

 We come up with tons of excuses why we can’t do it.

Excuses are not Reasons. They are simply an easy way out.

Your introvert tendencies may also be a result of your natural talents. As a generalization, music lovers tend to be more of an introvert and an athletic person are usually more out-going. Of course, there are many exceptions.

Introverts tend to close up when there are strangers present. We have trouble communicating our thoughts, and our awkwardness becomes our main display.

Then how do we make a good first impression?

Sometimes, you just wish that you could make a good impression with a stranger. Typical situations like job interviews, first dates, opening a new bank account will generally require you to make a good impression with someone, and the stakes could be high if you fail to do well.

Leaving a good first impression is vital to your job interview, your first date, your first meeting with a new acquaintance or a new accountant. Making people like you and trust you is the most important step to making a long-lasting relationship.

For instance, assume you are walking into a job interview. That first impression you make with your interviewer will likely determine the outcome, meaning, whether you are hired or not.

Even more importantly is your first date. Love at first sight? That’s first impression. You may not even be aware that you are leaving an impression on someone, but you are. As I mentioned, there are always strangers around us that may become our friends or even our partner.

Have you ever been stopped by a traffic police for speeding? The first impression you make with the officer will likely determine your fate of whether you end up getting a warning or a violation.

Even more importantly, if you are unfortunate enough to end up as the defendant in a courtroom, the impression you make with the judge and jury will have a huge impact on your sentencing. Which is why a good lawyer will always advice you not only on how to dress, what answers to give, but also to your tone, your demeanor, and your posture as well.

First impression is a complex matter. It involves most of our senses:

• What we see
• What we hear
• What we smell
• How we feel about you

Your voice matters. Your appearance matters. How you make people feel will matter a lot.

 How you smell is vital. Smelling like smoke or drugs is a complete turnoff (unless you are interviewing at a smoke company). Smelling like sweat will drive people away from you. If you meet someone for the first time and their first expression is to cringe their nose? Not a good sign.

Now are you convinced that your first impression is important? Let’s move on.

When you go into a job interview, or a date, the first thing most people do is to shake their hands. Make sure your hands are warm and dry. I once interviewed a person with extremely sweaty hands. I remembered nothing that he said throughout the interview. All I wanted was to leave and wash my hands.

Do not bring a lot of stuff with you. When you interview, all you need is a copy of your resume, nicely tucked into a folder. Nowadays, resumes are transmitted electronically and it is usually not necessary to provide a fresh copy. But it is still good practice to have a copy on hand.

 You don’t need to drag around your diploma, your laptop, pens or notebook. You can bring a small bottle of water. Just make sure that you don’t look like a bag lady. Bringing along too much stuff will only appear disorganized and unsure of yourself.

 How you smell is exceptionally important, and it is mostly unspoken of. Smokers generally don’t mind meeting someone who does not smell like a cigarette, but that does not reciprocate. Non-smokers will cringe and hold their breath around smokers. And because they are focusing on ‘not breathing’, they can’t focus on you.

If you are a smoker (of any kind), make sure you go to an interview with freshly laundered clothing, take a shower before you put on your clothes, and DO NOT SMOKE until after the interview. Seriously. I would love if you would just stop smoking altogether. Even on dates, smokers are perceived as arrogant, selfish, and generally unlikable. Also, keep your fragrance to a minimum. There are many people that are allergic or respond negatively to the wrong fragrance. So try to not smell like anything.

Your voice? Speak with your own voice, don’t shriek, squeal, or intentionally lower your voice because you want to sound more authoritative. Speak at the same pace as your interviewer if you can.

Most importantly, how you look will leave a lasting impression on someone. Even though society are not supposed to discriminate on age, our subconscious minds still do. We are not required to disclose our age in the United States, but if you seem to be at your retirement age, your chance of getting hired will decrease. That’s just life. Much as we hate to be judged, we can’t help but judge other people. Especially new people that we meet.

On the flipside, if you feel that you look too young for the position, dress a little more mature. Stress your work experience and demonstrate your maturity through your hand gestures and your wise words. I have this problem all my life, so I know how it feels.

A 47 year old that look like a fresh college graduate is not ideal to be a management consultant. But that’s what I am and I always have to stress that I have 18 years of experience already.

Do you know an introvert who could benefit from this article? Send them this article to let them know you love them!

Until next time, Love what you live, live what you love.

***Minna is a business consultant for 18 years, working for high tech companies as a specialist in mergers and acquisitions. ***

Over the last few years, we worked hard to acquire new knowledge, and we took some time to decide where our hearts lie. This year, it is time to put that knowledge into good use. Publish all that we’ve learnt and release that to the public. We want to address an issue that was becoming a pandemic in this world, an issue that is close to our hearts.

We are cooking up something. And we spent our entire week on thinking, positively procrastinating, discussing, learning the trade, and devising our plan of action. One of the lessons that we learned from our past was that, the ultimate goal of a business is not for money, but to build a legacy. Which is why, this time, we’re working on a program that will teach the audience how to get a fighting chance to staying healthy through the years.

Interested? Make sure you’re on our email list here and we’ll keep you on the loop!

[The Foolish Couple, (Andrew and Minna), are Jack Canfield certified success coaches and founder of the Foolish Academy, focusing on Healthy lifestyle and Relationships.]

[Foolish Review 2018 – Week 6]

Website: www.TheFoolishCouple.com

Facebook: www.Facebook.com/TheFoolishCouple