5 ways on How to be a Better Husband and Partner

Hi, This is Andrew from the Foolish Couple. We help couples achieve healthier relationships through nutrition, exercise, mindset and lifestyles.

 Hey, So I get asked this question so many times, I decided to make a video about it. The question is how can I be a better husband? In this video, I will share with you the 5 ways you can be a better husband and partner.

 The other day we went out for dinner with a bunch of friends, and we went to this Chinese restaurant where we would eat family style. And we ordered a whole bunch of food. We started off with an Asian chicken salad, and then roast duck, vegetables and so on. And there’s also freshly steamed prawns and spicy crab.

 Sounds yummy right? Well, both Minna and me love it too. Minna, my wife, is good in a lot of things, but she has no clue how to eat seafood. She is a little OCD so she hates peeling the shell off the prawns and she has absolutely no clue how to eat the crab unless someone takes out the meat for her.

 So, naturally, I would de-shell the prawns and the crab and put it on her plate. And this is something that I’ve done for her for the past 30 years that we’ve been together, and it never bothered me.

 But man, my guy friends were teasing me so badly. They called me a ‘well-trained husband’, kind of like a dog I guess. It’s all in good fun and I didn’t mind the teasing.

 In fact, it was actually kind of amusing to me that no one else seem to do the same thing for their spouses. Their spouses weren’t laughing at the joke.

 But I love doing it for her. I have to do it for myself anyways so what’s a few more shells? I do it because I love her, not because I have to, but because I want to. I want her to have the pleasure of enjoying the food without suffering the pain of peeling off the shells.

And to me, it is all my pleasure.

Over the years we’ve watched a lot of couples getting together, some stay together while others split up. These may be our friends, our family, and our coaching clients. We’ve gathered a lot of information and education about what works and what does not work in a relationship.

This week we are sharing with you the 5 most common things that wive’s love about their husbands.

1. Man up and Take care of her

 Women like to feel that they are protected and cared for. I am not saying you have to be a martial artist; totally ripped or have a bat ready to take on any intruders at night.

 What I mean is, little things go a long way. Learn to be a little handier. If you have no idea how to change a tire, do yourself a favor right now and go to YouTube and learn how. It is easy and useful to know. You can’t believe how many guys I know that do not know how to change a tire! Hey, sometimes, changing a tire can save your life, or at least save you a few hours of your time waiting for a tow truck. And by the way, if all you have is a flat tire, please don’t pop open your hood. It just doesn’t make sense. Everything you need is in the trunk, not under the hood.

 And do some handy work around the house too would you? You spend a lot of time in the house together so why not give it some TLC? My ex brother-in-law was so pathetic  (I hope he’s not watching this), he didn’t even know how to hang a picture on the wall! It is always a good idea to at least know how to do some basic electrical and plumbing work, because, well, electricians and plumbers aren’t always available when you need them.

 And while you’re at it, learn to cook a few things would you? Many years ago, Minna used to be sick all the time and me being the tender loving kind of husband would buy her McDonald’s because it was more convenient than cooking. And that’s just not right. When you are sick, your body needs a lot of nutrients to recover, and sorry, those chicken mcnuggets just doesn’t cut it.

 These days, Minna and I both cook and we love cooking together. To hear her brag about my cooking to friends is just priceless.

2. Respect her

 Back in the day when we were kids, Men went out to work and women stayed home to take care of the house and the children.

 Nowadays, the workforce has just as many women as men. Regardless of our gender, we both work hard and we both care about our careers.

 So let’s just be fair and share the household chores like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids and the laundry. The fact that you offer to help with the household chores will show how much you love and  care for her.

 So clean the toilet, wash those dishes, and vacuum the house. She shouldn’t be responsible for doing the dirtiest jobs in the house. You live there too and she will love you so much more knowing that you don’t want her doing the dirty work.

 And if you want extra brownie points, learn how to cook like I said before. The way to a women’s heart is through her stomach.

 Across culture and proven by science, food and romantic reward are closely intertwined. When hungry, a woman’s’ primary focus is getting some food. When that need is satisfied, she can pay attention to her other needs. So forget about being romantic without feeding her with food first.

3. Surprise her

 Hug her or kiss her in the morning and before you go to bed. This will melt her heart and will show her that there isn’t a person alive that you would rather wake up or lay next to when you go to sleep. Occasionally tell her that you love and say it sincerely, say it like you mean it, because you really do mean it.

 Don’t think that just because you’ve been married for 10 years or 20 years or however long that you no longer have to tell her how you feel about her. We all need to be reminded, constantly, that we are loved and that someone truly cares about us.

 Schedule Date nights. I’m not talking about birthdays and anniversaries. Most men remember the birthdays and the anniversaries and if you don’t man are you in trouble!

 The two of you should have more time together, with just the two of you, so that you can truly enjoy each other’s company just like when you first started dating. No matter how busy you are, how many children you have, try to schedule a date night once a week to do something with her. And do something different. Try a different restaurant, a different activity. Don’t keep doing the same thing. Put a little flair into it.

4. Just Listen

 It might be difficult for some men, but just try. Sometimes, you just need to shut up and listen to your wife.

Women like to get things of their chest. They just need to talk it out and let go of some steam. And don’t make the mistake of always trying to solve the problem. These days, women are perfectly capable of solving their own problems. And if they need your help, they will ask for your help.

You must hold back being the problem solver. Give them 20 minutes to just let everything out. Don’t interrupt; don’t give them your opinion. Give them your full attention. She will feel better after the 20 minutes. And then you can do whatever you want. Remember. 20 minutes.

And let go of your ego. It doesn’t matter whether you have a more successful business or career or she does. Relish her achievements and let her know how proud you are of her. 

Your marriage is a partnership, not a competition. Celebrate her successes.

5. Look your best

 True story. When I turned 30, I was so comfortable in my relationship and thought my wife loved me no matter how I look.

 I was in between work so I was home most of the time, playing video games and eating chips and fried chicken. I gained like 40 lbs in just three months.

 One day, Minna came home and just casually and sarcastically said,

 “When are you going to get off the couch HOMER?”

 Yeah, she was referring to Homer from The Simpsons. You know, the fat, bald, and dumb husband that is lazy and always eating and lounging on the couch.

 Man what a Wake up call!

 It won’t hurt to make an effort to look the best for her and for yourself. Minna likes me to be clean-shaven, so I’d always make sure that I stay clean-shaven.

 And I would never want to have to depend on her taking care of me. So I make sure that I stay physically healthy, so that we can have a healthy relationship. And she’d do the same for me.

There is nothing more important than your health for a healthy relationship.  

Which is why, in the following months, we will come up with more free content on how to maintain a healthy relationship.

 So if you have not signed up for our newsletters yet or Podcast, make sure you sign up now. 

We love to hear from you so leave your comments below and share it if touches you or someone you love.

Till next time Love What you Live and Live What you Love.