Who Do You Live For?

The last couple of years has been particularly hard on us.

My father passed away due to complications from his Parkinson’s disease, which is something he had been suffering for over 12 years.

Minna’s mother broke her hip and got a hip replacement a couple of years ago. But she never really fully recovered from the surgery. Every time we see her, she seemed to have deteriorated a little more.

My mother has osteoporosis of her knees and her knee pains are getting worse every year.

And what hurt me most this year was when I found out that my older brother, his name is Sam. Sam has been diagnosed with kidney failure and I have made multiple visits back home to support him, take him through his tests and diagnosis and trying to change his lifestyle and habits to reverse some of his symptoms of his diabetes, high blood pressure and lose some weight because all these chronic diseases ultimately led to his kidney problems.

So over the course of just 2 short years, the people that we care about the most, our parents, our family, we’ve watched their health decline and it is so painful for us to see that they are not willing to change their eating habits and their lifestyle in order to alleviate some of their problems.

Hi. I am Andrew from the Foolish Couple. We believe that healthy relationships start with health and we help couples achieve total success in health and in relationships through nutrition, exercise, mindset and lifestyle. 

Where am I going with all this? Some of you may have a similar problem that we have, or know someone who is suffering from chronic diseases. You may feel frustrated and sad that the people that you care about the most, simply don’t want to help themselves to get better. It is like watching a drug addict that keeps going back to their drug habit, because it is so much harder to quit. 

Let me ask you this.

If you are one of these people who is suffering from diabetes, pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, chronic pains or whatever other autoimmune, chronic degenerative diseases:

Why are you where you are today?

Is it really because you are old?

Is it really because you have bad genes?

That it runs in the family?

Or is it just because you refuse to give up drinking, smoking, or sugar?

Or that you are just too lazy to do some exercise?

Who do you think is suffering from your illnesses?

For us, we thrive on mentoring and teaching couples how to have a more fulfilling relationship with each other and their families.

And when you are suffering, guess who also suffers with you?

When you are in pain, when you have to go through chemo, dialysis, do you think your husband or wife is happy about it?

Or do you think they are in just as much pain as you are in?

And when you blood pressure or heart problem is preventing you from traveling the world, who is stuck “staycationing” with you?

We have a friend that, for many years, her father was bed-ridden and her and her mother took turns taking care of him. They cannot travel, they cannot even stay out for long, and I’m pretty sure our friend remained single partly because of this burden. Now I’m sure that our friend loved her father, and so does her mother, but when her father finally passed away, I could just see that relief in their face. It’s like lifting a heavy weight off our heart.

So if you are the one that has diabetes, dementia, joint pains, heart problems, high blood pressure, or whatever your health problem is. It is not just your problem.

So why won’t you make an effort to change your life? So that you can change their life as well?

I hear this all the time.

“Life is too short and I am not willing to give up desserts.... Because what’s the point of life?”

Is your point in life really just to eat desserts?

Or is it true that the dessert gives you short term pleasure, and causes you and people around you long term pains?

Let me share some personal observations I had over the last 48 years.

Growing up, my parents never got along. They were always arguing and fighting over something really small and silly. Never, have they ever said “I love you” to each other or even to show any affection towards each other. And this went on throughout my life. For over 30 years, they have been fighting every day.

One day, my father’s Parkinson’s eventually put him into a senior assisted home. And then, I saw my parent’s relationship change. My mother visited him almost each day and the conversations they had were about all the times they shared, the times when they were happy together. Something that I have never heard of for the past 30 years.

Right before my father left us, his biggest regret was that he did not show his love more for my mom or toward his children.

On the contrary, Minna’s grandfather had Alzheimer’s for many years and eventually passed away in a senior assistant home, just like my dad. But unlike my parents, her grandparents were very much in love throughout their lives.

I remember vividly the year that Minna’s grandfather passed away. Her grandmother pulled us aside and asked us when we are going to get married because she wanted to see us tie the knot before she died. She caught us by surprise and we assured her that she will see us get married because she was still in good health.

But, sadly, her grandmother passed away the following year, on the day of her wedding anniversary. We suspect that she just didn’t want to live on without grandpa. To this day it is one of my regrets I was not able to fulfill her wish to see us married.

Most of us accept life with the cards that were dealt to us, we want to accept the burden ourselves. We live our life’s thinking only about ourselves.

But do you ever ask yourselves who do you really live for?

Whose lives are you affecting or changing in your current state of health?

Maybe it’s your spouse, parents, children or grandchildren. We should stop living for ourselves and ask who you live for.

Once you figure that out, you will understand why you should get healthier rather than accepting your fate. We are being selfish when we don’t do the best we can do to live a healthier lifestyle for our families. You think you are the one suffering, but it’s actually your spouse, your kids, your parents and friends that suffer the most watching you deteriorate.

My parents fought all my life but I am sure they were in love at some point before I was born. I witnessed that love in the last 7 years of my dad’s life. It was too little too late.

I saw the love that Minna’s grandparents shared with each other all the way to their passing. I see the Love Minna’s parents share with each other and her mother’s deteriorating health worries us each time we see them.

We believe a happy and loving relationship starts with your health. Living a thriving live together. 

So let me ask you the question again:

Why are you where you are in your health?

Do you not care about your loved ones?

Change starts with you, and you need to know why you need to change for the ones you love.

What one step can you do today to improve your health, not for yourself, but for your spouse, your kids, your grand kids or for your parents.

We know that you are looking for more information, more guidance on living a healthy, good life. So we are working on creating 2 new courses that will be provided to you, free of charge. As a Christmas present to you all.

These 2 courses, “Dymystifying Fats” and “The truth about sugars”, will help you manage these Diabetes and Alzheimers and other chronic diseases and in some cases even reverse the symptoms.

Till Next time, Love what you live and Live what you love!

We believe that healthy relationships start with health and we help couples achieve total success in health and in relationships through nutrition, exercise, mindset and lifestyle. If you know someone who can benefit from this blog, share with them. Let them know that you care about them. And of course, leave us any comments below. We love to hear from you.

PS: Our ebook ‘Gut Matters’ goes deeper into the issue of our gut and the action steps that we can take to repair our gut and bring our bodies back to an optimal, healthy state.

This ebook is free for you to download and all you have to do is follow the link below and we will send you a copy.

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We are not medical doctors. This blog is not intended to diagnose medical condition, or replace your health care provider. The contents of this blog are for informational purposes only. Statements on this website have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Always consult your personal physician before starting any fitness or exercise program or changing dietary habits. The content of this site is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It is not a substitute for a medical exam, nor does it replace the need for services or counsel provided by medical professionals. However, we do hope to inspire you to become healthier, more self sufficient, and more aware of options.