Are you 50 Shades?

[The Foolish Couple Blog]

What’s your shade?

Most of our reading materials are more educational or informational. Magazines wise, we read the Success Magazine, Dr. Oz’s The Good Life, Women’s Health, Eating Well, amongst others. Books wise, most are on personal development. The Success Principles, Blue Ocean Strategy, How Not to Die, etc.

Even during long commute times, we listen to the likes of Tony Robbins, Tim Ferris and other podcasts.

If these sound BORING to you. Well, that’s OK.

But, my guilty pleasure? Well, I’ve read all 7 books of Harry Potter, The Twilight series, Hunger Games Trilogy, and, of course, 50 shades of Gray.

Steamy? Yes. Intimate? You Bet.

But I have also picked up a thing or two that has nothing to do with the sexuality.

To quote Christian Gray, in the first book, during his interview by Anna, he was questioned on how he attained his success:

Anna: ‘Maybe you got lucky’

Christian: ‘The Harder I work, the luckier I get’

Some people see other people’s success as being ‘Lucky’.

How did that guy become so wealthy? He got lucky.

How did she become CEO of that multi national company? She got lucky.

How did they manage to stay together for 70 years? They got lucky.

But putting the success on ‘Luck’, it takes away the guilt that, if we had tried harder, or, if we’ve even tried at all, maybe us, too, could also be successful. We could also have gotten everything we wanted if we’d actually worked towards our goal.

But we all had excuses. Right?

I was sick.
I was born from a poor family.
My parents have bad genes.
My teacher never taught me that.
 

Jack Canfield taught us, that we must take 100% responsibility of our life. Whatever happened to us, whether it was lucky or misfortune, we have control over how we respond to the situation. We chose the outcome.

Our personalities often gets in the way, making us make the wrong choices, take the wrong steps, do the things that we’re not supposed to.

We all have our light side, and we all have our dark side.

We are all good at some things, suck at some other things.

We love some people, dislike others.

We favor certain things, and stay away from others.

Some days, we behave one way, and another way on other days, because our shade changes.

In some sense, are we all 50 shades?

I’ve had my dark days. The really dark gray periods where nothing goes right. The days where I had to struggle to simply get out of bed. And the day just goes downhill. Bodily pain, mental distractions, bad news from all over, disagreements with co-workers and losses on the financial markets. Those are the dark days.

And then there are the days that felt almost pure joy. Pure white ecstasy. The days where we couldn’t wait to get out of bed and start the day. The days where we woke up refreshed and excited. Loved one by our side, perfectly in sync. Days where everything go well. Welcoming surprises. Every meal tastes delicious and healthy. Work out sessions that are purely sensational.

Think back the past couple of weeks. Have your days been mostly dark, or mostly light? How do you feel at the end of your dark day? How do you feel at the end of a light day?

Would you rather have light days? Or dark?

What can you do to make every day a light day?

Over the years, I’ve learned that, if I chose to wake up to a light day, then I will have a light day. That day will stay light gray, bright and cheerful, even with all the unwelcoming surprises and bad news that comes my way.

How do I do it?

I always know that I am loved. I have an intimate, trusted partner, my best friend, my most loved person in the world. No matter what happens to me that day, I will always have that person that loves me unconditionally. Every aspect of my life is better with him in my life. The relationship that we have is extraordinary. It is special. And it requires a skill that no school would teach you. But you can learn it here at the Valentine Code.