Success in the New Normal Part 1- Know what you want

 [The Foolish Couple are founders of the Foco Academy, nutrition specialists and success coaches. We focus on teaching Jack Canfield’s Success Principles and applying the principles to the 3 areas of life that money can’t buy, that is, Health, Time, and Love Relationship.]

For many of us, we've been programmed, since childhood, about what we should and should not do. We've been told repeatedly in our childhood to be sensible and to behave like a good kid. What does that mean? Our parents and our teachers were programming us to behave in the way that they believe is the good way.

It's not that they have bad intentions. Your parents probably had the best intentions for you. I know that my parents had good intentions for me. Telling me to have good grades in school. Getting a 'B' is not good enough. I should've gotten an 'A'. I'm told, repeatedly, that to have a good life, I must get a college degree, even better if I have a master's degree. And that I should become a doctor if I wanted a good life.

When. I was 8 years old, my parents, like all Asian parents, wanted their daughters to play the piano. So they bought my sister a Kawai upright piano, hoping that either one of my older sisters would fall in love with the piano.

The back story, is that my mom, who was the oldest of the 3 sisters, learned to play the piano when she was younger and she was not very good at it. And then her younger sister, the one in the middle, also learned the piano and she also wasn't very good at it. So if genetics has anything to do with musical talent, then you can probably guess. My sisters were no good at playing the piano too! Nor were they even interested in it.

But me? Man I'm all over it. For me, if I hear a nice tune on TV, I can go to the piano and play it back. Just like that. No training needed. Some of my oldest friends also knew that I have musical talent and really pushed me to pursue music as a career.

But not my mom. And I can only say this now because, some of you may know, I've recently lost my mom. She was 85 years old, and it is my belief that it was really the shelter in place that killed her. The lost of connection, the fact that they were stuck at home all day for months, is too much to bear for her and for many other seniors like her.

So back to my story. When I got into college, I'm supposed to choose a major. And that's when my mother, knowing that I had full intentions of taking music, stepped in and in her words,  she forbade me to take music and that if I insisted, I would end up living on the streets because I would not make any money out of my musical career.

So I made this life changing decision to listen to her and chose an different career path.

What about you? Are you doing what you're programmed to do? What your parents think is best for you? And more importantly, if you are a parent, are you programming your children the same way?

If you can go back all these years and choose again, would you choose a different path?

If you have doubts about it, then now is the time to really think about what you really want. And I'm saying this because this year, the year 2020, has been a disruptive year to almost all of us. Our lives are turned upside down, our lifestyles have changed, the nature of our work have changed. Our family dynamics have changed.

In a nutshell, everything's changed this year. And you can choose to change for the better, or for the worse.

And to apply the Success Principles to the New Normal, you have got to decide what you want.

Regardless of what your parents and teachers told you that you can't do, or you shouldn't do. Forget all that. Reclaim your right to have your wants and desires like a child and learn to stop settling for less than you want.

Inside every one of us is a tiny seed of the 'you' that you were meant to become. Unfortunately, you may have buried this seed in response to your parents, teachers, coaches, and other adult role models as you were growing up.

And this year gives all of us a chance to redefine ourselves. Stop living someone else's dreams and start living your own.

How do you reclaim yourself and your true desires? How do you get back to what you really want with no fear, shame, or inhibition? How do you reconnect with your real passion? You start on the smallest level by honoring your preferences in every situation - no matter how large or small. They might be inconsequential to someone else, but they are not to you.

The first piece of music that I wrote that was publicly showcased, was a short piano piece that was played in my mom's funeral. And honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that we are now staying at home, I would probably never gotten around to actually sit down, play on my piano, record it and put it up as a mp3 file so that the funeral home can actually broadcast it.

So stop saying I don't know, I don't care, I don't have time, or it doesn't matter to me. And start caring, start believing, and start taking action to make your dreams come true.

Now one of the exercises that may sound superficial or even silly, but is extremely powerful, is to create your 'I Want' list. Sit down in a quiet place, grab a piece of paper, and start listing out everything that you want. You'd probably start by writing something like a beach house, a lot of money, a Ferrari, or something like that. But keep going. Keep writing. Eventually, your deepest and truest desires come out. And you'll know what you truly want.

Until next time, love what you live, and live what you love. 

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